I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
