That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
