i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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