I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
