I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize