I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize