Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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