Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
