i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
