belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
