Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
