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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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