Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
