Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
