WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize