in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want nice things and good sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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