Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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