i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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