Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
