I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
