we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
40s are totally the cure
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
