I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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