i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
