All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
