Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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