Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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