8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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