hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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