It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize