dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
