Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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