youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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