I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
