you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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