are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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