What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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