My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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