I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
