oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
