I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
