Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's blow job season.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
