Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have feelings that need drinking.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
