I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
