what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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