high people should be assigned attendants
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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