Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
