I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
