I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
