Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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