Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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