im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
