Whod you bang
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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