I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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