I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
