I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
