She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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