North Korea, Best Korea!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
