and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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