I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
