she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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