I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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