i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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