Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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