I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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