dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
